Original: "A room with the walls blasted to shreds and falling."
Could be thought of as a room ruined by someone, not a natural cause.
Changed: "A room with the walls destroyed and torn apart."
Original: "Our voices hung close in the new acoustics."
Could be an echo.
Changed: "Our voices lingered in the new acoustics."
Original: "We returned to our shoveling, working side by side in silence."
Could be interpreted as everything was silent, not just the kids.
Changed: "We returned to our shoveling, working side by side without speaking."
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
The Mentor
Timothy Murphy's Mentor
Before: "when I lived so near," After: "when I was located so near"
Could be he lived as in he lived in a house near the teacher, or he lived as in he was alive when that person lived near him.
Before: "of the wholly grown" After: "of the completely grown"
Could be interpreted either as the person is completely grown or their mind is compltely grown.
Before: "and the nearly great" After: "and the nearly famous"
Telling how the person is either nearly good or nearly notable for it.
Before: "when I lived so near," After: "when I was located so near"
Could be he lived as in he lived in a house near the teacher, or he lived as in he was alive when that person lived near him.
Before: "of the wholly grown" After: "of the completely grown"
Could be interpreted either as the person is completely grown or their mind is compltely grown.
Before: "and the nearly great" After: "and the nearly famous"
Telling how the person is either nearly good or nearly notable for it.
Nights by Kevin Hart
Nights byKevin Hart
(Before) (After)
(Before) (After)
"Before I set out on that path." "Before I set out in that direction"
The author wrote this line literally making the reader think that the person in the poem is actually walking along a path. I see it as meaning the reader is about to take a different direction in life.
(Before) (After)
"Upon a path soon lost in dark." "Upon a path that I can't see."
The author wrote this line making the reader think that there is an actual path that the person in the poem can't see because of the darkness. I read this line as that there is no actual path but it is a metaphor for the direction the person's life is going in or was going in.
(Before) (After)
"The stars tonight are rich and cold" "The stars tonight are plentiful and distant"
This could be interpretated as the stars being rich as in money and cold to touch. It can also be seen as rich meaning plentiful or abundant, like there are many stars in the sky and cold as in distant like they are spread out across the sky.(Before) (After)
"Before I set out on that path." "Before I set out in that direction"
The author wrote this line literally making the reader think that the person in the poem is actually walking along a path. I see it as meaning the reader is about to take a different direction in life.
(Before) (After)
"Upon a path soon lost in dark." "Upon a path that I can't see."
The author wrote this line making the reader think that there is an actual path that the person in the poem can't see because of the darkness. I read this line as that there is no actual path but it is a metaphor for the direction the person's life is going in or was going in.
"White-Eyes"( By: Mary Oliver )Conotations
(BEFORE) ((describing snowflakes))
"thicken, and begin to fall
into the world below
like stars, or the feathers..."
(AFTER)
"condense and begin to drop
into the world below
like stars, or the tufts..."
The words, condense, drop and tufts change the description of snowflakes falling into the description of the cloud that is falling. Those words exactly describe a cloud and what it does, "condense" and "drop" meaning like rain instead of snow, and "tufts" meaning the cloud itself, so not the snow.
"thicken, and begin to fall
into the world below
like stars, or the feathers..."
(AFTER)
"condense and begin to drop
into the world below
like stars, or the tufts..."
The words, condense, drop and tufts change the description of snowflakes falling into the description of the cloud that is falling. Those words exactly describe a cloud and what it does, "condense" and "drop" meaning like rain instead of snow, and "tufts" meaning the cloud itself, so not the snow.
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